Girlfriends Are Funny

Especially when they try playing video games. Take my girlfriend for example. She was browsing through my latest copy of OPM and found their review for Wolfenstein.

"Oooo! I wanna play this!" She exclaims to me one night from the chair she's sitting in. To which I instinctively roll my eyes as a response.

OK, well, I had rented Terminator: Salvation from Blockbuster last week and tonight was the night it needed to be returned. She again mentioned to me that I should check to see if Wolfenstein was in stock, and if so, I should rent that next.

Now a little history about my girlfriend before I continue the story. According to her she used to play a lot of video games; mostly on GameCube and PC. She fondly remembers playing old school Doom and Wolfenstein on her Dad's computer back in the day. Her most recent experience with video games (not including since we've been dating) was with the GameCube of which she owned The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask and claims to have beaten that game several times over while she was in high school.

However, her experience with contemporary FPS games is limited and doesn't extend beyond the time period of old school Doom or Wolfenstein. Needless to say her FPS skills are rather lacking, and her attempts at trying to grasp the controls of the Doom re-make for Xbox a year ago was, in a word, painful.

Fast forward to tonight as we leave to return the game. She waits in the car as I walk in and I look for the Wolfenstein game. Surprisingly they have it in stock.

"What the hell," I say to myself. I was kinda curious to play it as well. So I rent it.

We arrive back home and she wants to play it. I sign in under my rental account (so as not to affect my regular PSN account because this game has trophies) and proceed to start the game. We watch the opening cinematics and then the game officially starts; and comedy ensues. I don't know how to best describe how she plays. It's sort of like watching a retarded one armed monkey try to wash itself as it burns alive running in circles. Well, maybe that was a bit harsh...so the monkey isn't washing itself.

I warned her about the controls because I remembered the trouble she had when trying to play the updated Doom, and how she couldn't grasp the mechanics of the analog sticks to simultaneously move/look around while shooting. I told her it was going to be the same set-up as Doom had, but she said something not caring.

So now we're in the living room; I'm typing this blog and she's (amazingly) still playing the game. Not only is she still playing but she even managed to beat the entire first level by herself and on "Normal" difficulty! From what I can tell it appears she's starting to understand the controls better. She's just started the second level (I think). We'll see how long her patience holds out now.